New chemo, and happy solstice!

My darling cuz writes me an email every night, and i save it in case I have insomnia, which is one of the more beastly side effect of cancer and chemo. This started out as a reply to her.

Just in case you wonder, I love love LOVE your emails. They are my saving grace sometimes.

Chemo this morning, and after a TON of dithering, Our dear Dr. L changed the main chemo drug from taxol to paclitaxel NAD. Three cheers for Dr. D in SF who put us on to this. In a nutshell, Taxol and that family of drugs - all from Taxis brevifolia, the pacific yew - are delivered by a toxin. Usually a solvent, doesn't that sound yummy? This is what allows it to penetrate the cell wall. The NAD in the new drug is attached to albumin - it's bound to a lipid, instead of a solvent, and THAT is what allows it to penetrate the cell wall. It's the solvent that usually causes the nerve damage, NOT the the chemo drug itself - so with this drug, I should have much less neuropathy. This is reallio trulio cause for celebration. The last three days I was back to doing the Institutional Shuffle- you know how little old ladies walk in nursling homes? That's because either they can't feel their toes, or that their feet hurt so much that they are trying to put as little pressure on them as possible. Mine is a combo - imagine the worst pins and needles you've ever had from your foot falling asleep - only it's all the time - and worse at night, when you are falling asleep.

Needless to say, having my toes and soles of me feet (and me hands) go numb is NOT conducive to a lot of stuff I like to do - knit. Play guitar, walk run jump in and out of boats...and DANCE. I really, really need the tips of my fingers and toes. So the phrase insurance companies pay attention to is QUALITY OF LIFE. I've dropped this one several times, and it seems to be working.

Another benny is that it only takes half an hour, instead of 2-1/2. I got out of chemo after only three hours! Felt like a kid who'd gotten to go home early after a terrible test!

We spent Xmas eve out at Sam and carolines, after hearing Sam sing in the UU choir. It was wonderful - Kevin seems to be joining the local Episcopalian chorus, and I may do the UU choir, so we can take our pick every Sunday. Sam's singing is pretty wonderful, and he's worked really hard at it. Also saw Cliff and Marion, and David, Jane and Lisa, which was jolly. Marion is mostly not there, with her dementia, and it's heartbreaking. She still sings Christmas carols, though.

We of course ate and drank endlessly, and being two weeks out from chemo I ate EVERYTHING. It was heaven. Cornish game hens for dinner, eggs benedict for breakfast, I cooked lots of veggies, Kevin and Tess cooked desserts. What do you suppose this says about our characters? Still mostly can't eat sugar or acid, altho I admit I did indulge in a few stocking chocolates.

Ms. Santa decided that everyone needed cashmere, so she went around buying cheap sweaters and pashminas. Kevin now claims that I really only love him because he is a giant stuffy that I can wrap in cashmere and snuggle up to. He may not be entirely far wrong.

Tess got knocked off every flight between Sunday and Wednesday - No unaccompanied minors into Seattle, over and over and over. I don't think I've ever changed a plane ticket that many times. In addition, her luggage managed to go to Seattle without her. Bob thankfully went and rescued it, since it had ALL her warm winter clothes and all her favorite clothes. Seattle Airport probably still doesn't know where it is....

So we had her here, which was jolly, and Bob flew in late Xmas night. We all sat around by the fire, and of course I went to sleep on the couch at 8 pm, as usual. I should just plan to sleep from 8 pm to 3 am, that seven hours, right?

All my love! Thank you for the best gift of all, nono - your time.
Chris